One of the services we provide here at DPO is to assist seniors with their mail, bills, and home management. Recently, I was visiting a senior couple who have a professional caregiver through an agency that comes in daily to assist the physically handicapped husband. As the wife and I finished reviewing the bills, she realized it was past her husband's lunch time. (In the world of seniors, meals and meds go hand in hand. Late meals can mean late dosages.) As I gathered up the papers, she went to help her husband from his chair to the kitchen table. As I watched, I couldn't help but wonder why the caregiver had not made him lunch and was not helping him to the table. She was engrossed in her book. As they worked their way to the table, the wife made a casual comment to her husband about taking off his "outside shoes" and putting his slippers back on after lunch. Upon hearing this, the caregiver slammed her book shut, started muttering under her breath, and stomped to the bedroom to get the shoes. She stomped back into the kitchen, pulled the husband away from the table and announced she was taking a break after she changed his shoes. She walked outside, slamming the door as she left.
It happened so quickly and was so unexpected that the three of us looked at each other in stunned silence for a long moment. "How long has this behavior been going on?", I asked. They shrugged and said in the beginning it had been rare and usually focused on the wife when she asked for assistance. Of late, it had become much more frequent and directed toward both of them. I asked why they hadn't said anything. They replied they didn't want to get her in trouble. She was having issues in her family life. And worst, they didn't want to be thought of as difficult to care for or unreasonable. They worried no one else would want to help them. This made me wince.
I asked for examples of the assistance being requested. The wife asked for assistance with changing the table cloth. The caregiver informed her it was not in her job description. Assistance with carrying groceries in from the car? Not in her job description. Heat up soup or make a sandwich for the husband if the wife was not back from her doctor's appointment by lunch time? Not in her job description. Drive the husband to appointments? You guessed it, not in her job description!
I was livid. These are precisely the things that caregivers help with. Any home care agency will tell you this. This caregiver's behavior was completely unacceptable. No one should have to endure this in their own home, let alone pay to be treated this way! I urged the couple to call the agency, explain what was going on, and request that this caregiver to be replaced.
Please, if you have caregivers in your own home, for you loved ones in their homes, or are considering bringing in outside help, thoroughly interview and investigate the companies. Be clear on what services they provide, what services you need, and what type of person/personality you prefer. Good home care companies make it a point to match the personalities of caregivers and clients. Keep trying each other out until you find a good match. Mutual respect and clear communication are key. Good caregivers are worth their weight in gold. They are underappreciated and underpaid but they have a calling to help others and compassion beyond measure. It will take a little time to get to know each other and develop a rhythm, but you'll know quickly if it will get that far. Keep in mind that caregivers try to be helpful without being intrusive, especially when there are other family members in the home. It is up to you to help them find this balance. Politely let them know if you wish to have some alone time or need assistance with something. They may be over-solicitous and hover at first, but they are just trying to anticipate the needs and ascertain the capabilities of their client. Be honest with them and their superiors about performance and behavior.
In this instance, the manager was appalled to hear what was happening. She had had no idea because the clients never spoke up. Needless to say, the caregiver will not be returning. The couple is now working with a wonderful caregiver who is conscientious of the needs and struggles of both of them. It's brought peace of mind and comfort to the couple. Do not settle for anything less.
Here in the Miami Valley, there are only two air qualities: damp or humid. It changes quickly. We have known days where we run both the heat and the a/c. A miscalculation can leave you shivering or feeling like you dressed before drying off from your shower. As a result, seasonal changes are often challenging in the wardrobe department. Here are a few tips and tricks.
Gather all the truly wintery-looking pieces and all your "moth-munchable" fabrics. Most of us know about wool, but moth larvae also like hair, fur, feather, and felt, including those luxurious feeling cashmere and mohair sweaters.(entomology.ca.uky.edu/ef609) Don't forget the gloves, hats, scarves, socks, and blankets, as well. Examine everything for wear, tears, stains, broken zippers, missing buttons, and finally, fit. Be sure to check all the pockets and all your handbags. Nothing motivates like finding cash! For those items that pass physical inspection ask yourself, "Did I wear them this season? Why not?" If it truly was not worn because the weather didn't cooperate, then keep it another year. Otherwise, consider purging them. Winter clothes are bulky and there's no sense wasting perfectly good storage space on items that are not worthy of you. Keep a list of any key pieces you need to replace. (For more tips on moth-proofing, check out the following: www.marthastewart.com/264609/the-basics-of-mothproofing
and www.nytimes.com/2010/01/28/garden/28fix.html )
For the few winter items you decide to keep out until spring really sticks, keep them together in the closet and contained in one drawer. It will make it easier to do the final transition later. Do the same with your shoes and boots. Clean off the any salt and dirt, then polish before putting away. Purge the un-salvageable and add to your shopping list.
Pull out all the spring/summer stuff. Inspect and purge just as you did the winter stuff. Can't remember if you wore it last year? Try this trick. For drawers, fold the items and place them in backwards. As you wear them, you can fold and put them in normally. In the closet, hang the hangers backwards. Once worn, turn the hanger around.
Fold?! Hang?! Yes. Even if you're normally a "stuffer", just fold and hang for this initial step, please. At the end of the season, it'll be easier to tell what you have and have not worn.
Place any formal attire and the hot weather gear toward the back of the closet. You won't be needing it quite yet. As winter finally fades, you can pack up the remaining pieces or shift them to the back of the closet until sweater weather hits again.
What's the right way to organize your clothes? By color? By size? By event? By length? The answer is really personal preference. If you are sharing a closet with someone, then obviously it starts with splitting yours and theirs. If your work attire is completely different from your casual attire, consider separating them, then clustering suits together, pants together, skirts together, etc. It will save time when getting ready for work. You can take it a step further grouping black items together, navy items together, and so forth.
I discourage my clients from doing the whole closet strictly by gradation of color (i.e. the rainbow effect). It looks really cool...once. I have never met anyone who could maintain it and you WILL drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the chromatic order of your jeans.
Now that you can find something to wear, get outside and enjoy the earth's rejuvenation!
Thanks for reading,
Last week we celebrated National Procrastination Week. Now, onto the recovery plan and...Spring Cleaning!
As I write this, most of the country is recovering from Winter Storm Stella - either the snow overload or the information overload. Because of this recent event, it may be hard to think about Spring cleaning and transitioning to the warmer side of outdoor life. With the crazy temperature changes we have been experiencing the last few weeks, most of us have had at least one attack of Spring Fever, and probably more attacks of allergies and sinusitis. For me, as the warmer weather hits, I become increasingly intolerant of my indoor living space. It's stuffy from the stale, dry air. It seems more drab since the holiday decorations came down. The furnace and fireplace constantly re-coat every flat surface with dust. (Mom, if you're reading this, yes, I dust regularly....at least once a month. Swear.) And, let's not even start about the grimy windows!
Last week, while I was procrastinating over a cup of coffee and mentally listing everything that needed to be done around the house, I began to wonder about who came up with the idea of Spring Cleaning. So, in the true procrastinating spirit, I gave up on the chore list and did a little research instead.
Apparently, the concept of Spring Cleaning actually goes back thousands of years and is both culturally and religiously inspired. The Persians, Chinese, Jews, and Christians, among others, have rituals and practices encouraging an annual cleaning. (http://home.howstuffworks.com/home-improvement/household-hints-tips/cleaning-organizing/spring-clean-in-spring1.htm). In more recent times, after a winter of candle soot, coal dust, wood ash, difficult laundry and bathing conditions, the home required a complete scrub down, including walls, floors, carpets, windows, and bedding. (mentalfloss.com/article/78273/get-swept-away-these-8-facts-about-spring-cleaning)
Add two centuries of continual marketing and advertising that infers critical failure as a wife, mother, and human being if the effort does not cause physical exhaustion and mental collapse and we have the ingrained practice of Spring cleaning.
But, in today's rushed lifestyle, we don't always have the time, or the servants, to do as our ancestors did. Sometimes, we're lucky to get the Christmas tree down by Easter. I have friends who adamantly insist that the red and green of Christmas stays applicable for both Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day so there is no need to hurry. As a Professional Organizer (and a friend), I do not judge. I will, however, offer the following few suggestions for minimal Spring cleaning:
Thanks for reading,
National Procrastination Week
Did you know the first full week of March is National Procrastination Week? Yes, it's a thing. Seriously. To celebrate, I am now posting the blog I was supposed to do the first week of January. Kidding...sorta.
We all suffer from procrastination at one time or another. Some of us embrace procrastination like a cherished friend. We welcome it into our lives, indulge in it, and make excuses for ignoring our other obligations. After awhile, like the house guest that has overstayed his welcome, we look around and realize the party cannot continue and he needs to disappear. We are behind schedule, have forgotten appointments, and missed opportunities we may not be able to get back. It was fun while it lasted, but there's a mess to clean up and you're feeling guilty and completely overwhelmed. Now what?
There's a saying that the best way to finish something is to start. Begin by defining why you wish to accomplish something. It sounds simple, but many of us start with a list of things that need to be done. This list grows and becomes so long and discouraging that we invite procrastination for another visit. By defining the "why " of it all, the list of "what" you wish to accomplish has more value. It's a reminder of your goal when you get distracted or feel lazy. Once you know why you want to do something, then list what needs to be done to accomplish your goal. Think small steps. Some people like to break them into teeny steps and find it helpful to note the estimated amount of time it will take to complete. When you find yourself with some spare time, check the list and see what you can knock off.
For example, as Spring approaches we begin to look at the winter-ravaged yard awaiting our attention. It's an ugly brown/grey wet mess with soooo much to be done and not a lot of daylight after work. There are beds to be cleaned out, late winter pruning, debris on the lawn to be raked or picked up. Seek the opportunity to do a little each day. If you're standing outside waiting on the dog to finish, pluck a few young weeds or clip a bush or two. If your dog loves sticks, try to get him to collect them. Get the kids outside for a little fresh air. Little kids love to be helpful. And an added bonus: if you turn it into a game for them, you may become their favorite grown-up. Just 15-20 minutes a day during the week, will give you a much better chance at free time over the weekend.
So, as you indulge in celebrating National Procrastination Week, begin to formulate your recovery plan. The warmer months will be full of the potential for fun and relaxation. Get things done now. If you find you need a little assistance, contact Druffner Professional Organizing. We'd be happy to help.